Slideshow image

 

Do you ever find yourself wondering if you are a good parent? I do.

Usually I question my goodness right after my kids have spent, what seems like, an eternity watching a screen of some kind, while I've barely scraped up the energy to make it to the drive through at “the Scottish restaurant” (McD's), only to arrive late for the school fundraiser, carrying in a box of timbits to donate to the cake walk, while my neighbour brings in her 7 layer chocolate ganache cake that is decorated to resemble the ship from Pirates of the Caribbean. These are the days I want to surrender and tattoo “#parentfail” on my forehead.

 But is that really what being a “good” parent is all about? Oh, I pray not.

 For those days when you feel like your goodness might be wearing thin, or for those rare days when you can feel your goodness brightly shine – here are 3 things I have noticed good parents do:   

1) They love their kids.

Okay – so this seems obvious, but the truth of the matter is that much of parenting distracts us from the obvious. We need not assess our parent-worthiness by our spacious homes, excellent baseball coaching skills, perfectly silent children, or the number of un-interupted sleep hours we achieve. Good parents love their kids. Some days they love them better than others – but a good parent will be able to fix their eyes on the bigger picture – do my children know and feel my love? With this as your guiding question, clarity, even in the middle of chaos, is a more frequent experience.

Love your kids.

 2) They embrace limitations.

It is no secret that effective parents will be consistent with their children in setting limitations that keep kids safe and yet provide the freedom to explore and grow in this world. What may not be as well discussed is the truth that good parents will not only assert limitations for their children, but they will learn to live within their own limitations. The super-mom or super-dad icon is a myth. You simply can not do it all. Saying yes to your family will by necessity mean saying no to something else. Good parents consider their whole family's limitations, and make their choices with great intention. Limitations bring freedom and joy when they are embraced in advance. Limitations can hurt or frustrate when they are arrived upon because of a failure to choose well.

Embrace limitations.

 3) They find support.

It turns out it does take a village to raise a child. While our village may no longer look like a small group of homesteaders – we still have need to find the support of others in our chosen community. Your support may come from friends, family, and neigbours. It may be that your best support has come from bloggers, podcasts, or books. You may have found the support you need in a faith family, a small group, or a fitness club. Good parents have discovered that the journey of parenting is far too long to make it alone. Waiting for help to come your way is an option – but the better choice is to actively seek it out.

Find support and ask for the help you need.

 Are you looking for support?

Here are a few wonderful opportunities right in your community:

1) Connect with other in a small group for support and encouragement.  If this interests you, please email pastor.kyla@gmail.com 

2) A Faith Family - you are welcome Sunday Mornings, 10am, for programming that is child/teen friendly, where you can reach out to find the support you're looking for.

3) Two Steps Forward blogposts are designed to be practical and helpful - touching on ways that we can make small adjustments that will bring about significant impact for our families.